09
Nov
07

Important News Flash! Zombies Are Real!!!

From the “What the…!?” department, comes an article that may contain evidence that proves the existence of zombies, perhaps as early as 3000BC!! Read on:

Hierakonpolis is a site famous for its many “firsts,” so many, in fact, it is not easy to keep track of them all. So we are grateful(?) to Max Brooks for bringing to our attention that the site can also claim the title to the earliest recorded zombie attack in history. In his magisterial tome, The Zombie Survival Guide (2003), he informs us that in 1892, a British dig at Hierakonpolis unearthed a nondescript tomb containing a partially decomposed body, whose brain had been infected with the virus (Solanum) that turns people into zombies. In addition, thousands of scratch marks adorned every surface of the tomb, as if the corpse had tried to claw its way out! – [Neatorama/Archaeology]

This is absolutely amazing. Especially given the many discussions that have been cropping up on a number of forums I frequent on the topic. The article goes on to describe other details, as well, specifically, how to deal with a zombie outbreak, as well as a few basic tips on using common garden implements as defensive weapons against zombies.

We have no “living” zombies as it were, to validate any of these scientific findings, at least not yet, but the circumstantial evidence is quite compelling. I would strongly urge everyone to find a copy of the zombie survival guide, and prepare accordingly. As if this weren’t enough, I came across an article on cracked.com detailing through 5 scientifically valid ways a zombie apocalypse could actually happen.

I myself will be training an anti-zombie task force consisting of a crack troop of highly trained, cybernetically enhanced special ops bobcats to deal with front line security, a unit of green beret night owls for perimeter surveillance, a contingent of commando hawks for forward observation, and of course a few local grizzlies for logistics, supplies and such. This should allow me to remain safely in my cave for the duration of any outbreak.

I would suggest you all take similar measures to protect yourself.

ZOMG! Archaelogists Found Evidence of Zombie Attack in Ancient Egypt! – [Neatorama/Archaeology]

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen – [Cracked.com]

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